Practising coaches building their practice
This technique is based on research from Stanford University and elsewhere that suggests a powerful connection between how closely people identify with their future self and how motivated they are to take actions, which invest in their future. Halk Ersner-Hershfield and Brian Knutson found that the rostral anterior cingulated cortex in the brain is activated...
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Scripting is a technique, which helps people bring about change in a conversation or situation that always seems to go predictably wrong – where they find themselves trapped in an exchange, knowing where it is going, but unable to stop it. (Typical examples are arguments with teenage children, or feeling unable to make one’s presence...
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Coaching and mentoring some people can be hard work, but it can be rewarding, because it provides a useful opportunity to expand your skills in developmental dialogue. Some of the most common situations that you might meet include: A three-stage process Our instinctive response is often to feel irritation at the other person’s unreasonableness. That’s...
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Through research and our own experience as working parents, we have identified a number of distinct stages in the journey to working parenthood which are concerned with; Stage 1 – Early pregnancy What’s happening for the mentee The very early days of pregnancy are characterised by a spirit of simple pragmatism: ‘keep calm and carry...
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Learning is at the heart of any coaching and mentoring relationship. We learn in different ways, through different methods and at different times. Once common factor amongst all individuals is that they all make mistakes and mistakes can be a valuable source of learning. If we accept that mistakes are a valuable source of learning,...
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The authors of the book Difficult Conversations point out that, when we feel constrained from saying exactly what we think, it is the gap between what we are really thinking and what we say that makes a difficult conversation difficult. In essence, we are trying to have two conversations at once. Each difficult conversation is...
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Personal disclosure is an important part of an open, trusting relationship. It allows us to build multiple points of connection, in terms of shared experiences, shared values and shared hopes and fears. Overused, it can have the opposite effect — as anyone will testify, if they find themselves on a train or plane sitting next...
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Even the most experienced coaches and mentors encounter occasional moments of disconnect – points in the learning conversation when they begin to doubt their ability, are unsure how to move the dialogue forward, or feel that they simply aren’t helping the client as well as they might. When you do have such feelings, don’t feel...
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Procrastination is typically a repeating cycle with four stages: Coaches and mentors can help clients break this vicious cycle by firstly helping them to recognise it, then to develop strategies for addressing each stage. When people fail to break the cycle, it is often because they address only part of it – so the process...
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Stress, which affects most people at some point, can be positive or negative. Positive stress makes us alert, focuses our attention, is usually short-lived and can be enjoyable (for example, a fair-ground ride). Negative stress reduces our focus and creates high levels of sustained anxiety. It’s usually easy to recognise the signs of stress. These...
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