Practising coaches building their practice
Being an effective mentor requires a continuously expanding portfolio of MDQs – (Massively Difficult Questions). These are what stimulate the mentee to reflect and gain personal insight. Equally important, however, are the MDQs we ask ourselves. For example: For whose benefit am I asking this question? Can I do more here by saying nothing? What...
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The Stepping In, Stepping Out technique can be very powerful. Here’s some instructions and some sample questions. SISO is best used as an automatic response to “stuckness” in a client. The starting point is Which quadrant is the client caught in? Once you are clear where they are, join them in that quadrant, formulating questions...
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Summarising is one of the key learning processes of a learning conversation strategies a mentor needs to develop and is a crucial part of any mentoring conversation for several reasons. It provides an opportunity to: The point of summarising is not just to condense what has been said. It is just as important as a (more…)
In meetings, people often take copious notes. The problem is that the more notes you take, the less you attend. Our brains don’t have dedicated circuits for writing, so they have to cannibalise circuits that would otherwise be used for listening. Coaching and mentoring require intense listening skills and mindfulness. The coach or mentor needs (more…)
Many of the issues people bring to their coaches and mentors relate to difficult choices. The two most common reason choices may be difficult are that: Here are several simple methods of helping them work out what information they need and how to obtain it. Issues mapping Ask them to describe all of the factors...
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Colours of the days This is a very simple quick and fascinating exercise to illustrate how people often have different views of the same thing, which is central to understanding empathy and many related concepts. The activity may be used as an icebreaker or larger discussion exercise, for groups of any size and age/seniority, subject...
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The drama triangle is a useful model from transactional analysis. It depicts the interplay of power and responsibility between people. In the drama triangle there are three roles: When someone asks for help, they can easily fall into the victim role. Anyone who agrees to help becomes a rescuer, but if they are tired of...
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Emotional mapping is particularly useful in helping a client work through the mix of emotions they are feeling about an issue. It’s rare for a strong emotional reaction to consist of just one emotion, but people tend only to be aware of the most powerful emotions that possess them. Identifying other component emotions can: The...
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At the end of the coaching / mentoring session, the learner should leave with a sense of: The coach or mentor should leave with a sense of: All of these outcomes can be enhanced by ensuring that the final few minutes of the session review questions such as: A pitfall the coach or mentor can...
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Framing refers to how we create meaning and how that influences how we behave. So, for example, being unsuccessful in a job interview might lead you to feel depressed and unworthy. WE have framed the experience so we view it from that perspective and don’t perceive others. But we can choose how we feel and...
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