Managing strong emotions in the coaching/mentoring dialogue

Strong emotions in a mentee or coachee (for example, anger or grief) can induce panic in the coach or mentor – and the instinct to get back to rational discourse. However, experienced coaches and mentors recognise that their role is to help the learner work through strong emotions. Core guidance in such situations includes: It’s...

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Mentor as networking resource

One of the attractions of a mentor for a mentee is that they have different and sometimes more influential networks. However, experience shows that selecting a mentor primarily for their contacts does not create a healthy basis for learning relationship. Mentors in this situation report feeling “used” and the relationships tend to be very transactional....

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Networking Skills

We are all part of multiple networks in the workplace. There are two main kinds of network: influence (getting things done) and information (finding things out). Networks may also be internal (connecting you within your team or department) or external (connecting you with people in other departments or outside the organization altogether). It’s useful for...

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Observing

Observation is an essential coaching / mentoring skill; high quality feedback depends on high quality observation. A good coach / mentor uses the interactions, behaviours and actions to provide data that informs feedback. There are a number of key components to factors in the observation process: genuine, relevant, empathy, accuracy and timely. If a coach...

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Personal reflective space

In working through personal reflective space, whether alone or with a coach or mentor, the quality of dialogue is critical. The type of questions used, their relevance and their capacity to stimulate reflection and understanding, are all important. So, too, is the nature and depth of reflection – in particular, how well intellectual analysis and...

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Develop greater self-belief

SELF-BELIEF/ SELF-ESTEEM/ SELF-CONFIDENCE The research on mentoring, in particular, shows that one of the most powerful things a coach or mentor can bring to the relationship is belief in the client’s ability to achieve great things. The phenomenon is called the Pygmalion effect, after the play by George Bernard Shaw. Essentially, the more belief someone,...

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Improve relationships with colleagues

Coaching and mentoring conversations frequently deal with issues of work relationships – colleagues or bosses, who are difficult, unresponsive, incompetent, and so on. It’s easy to slip into the role of Agony Aunt, giving advice on how to make friends and influence people, but that’s not the best way to help the client. Much more...

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Increase assertiveness

Positive assertiveness is an elusive attribute. Stereotypical thinking often means that behaviours, which can be seen in males as assertive, may be seen as aggressive in females. The “right” place on the spectrum from unassertive through assertive to aggressive can vary substantially from context to context. Coaches and mentors can help learners think through how...

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Increase their motivation

People vary widely how motivated they are to learn and progress. Given that you have limited time and energy to invest in developmental conversations, it helps to have a sense of who is going to be most responsive and to prioritise these individuals. It’s important, of course, to recognise that your own biases may affect...

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