Practising coaches building their practice
The instinctive reaction to this situation is for the coach or mentor to back off and suggest that the learner takes a break and comes back when they have dealt with the issues the have taken to counselling or therapy. While it’s important not to get in the way of the therapy or be seen...
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People lose hope when their attempts to bring about positive change result in repeated failure and/or a deep sense that they cannot control what happens to them. When a client of coaching or mentoring presents with an air of helplessness, they initially need an acknowledgement of the world as they perceive it. From this point,...
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What if the coachee says ‘I don’t know’ There comes a point at least once in a coaching conversation, where the coach feels instinctively that the issue is clear enough to pose a powerful question – one that will really make the coachee think and open up new perspectives. Many times, that is exactly what...
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Many mentoring programmes are designed specifically to support diversity objectives. However, in practice difference – in experience, personality, culture, gender and so on – is a driving force in all successful mentoring relationships. If people are too similar in background and experience, there is much less potential for learning between them. On the other hand,...
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Ethical mentoring – where the focus of the learning dialogue is either helping the mentee think through a specific conflict of values or develop greater “ethical resilience” – is demanding of both mentor and mentee. It requires high levels of self-honesty, courage and willingness to explore issues from other perspectives. Questions from mentor to mentee...
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© David Clutterbuck, 2016...
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A common occurrence in coaching and mentoring is that, after the first flush of enthusiasm, the relationship begins to run out of steam. Both parties are reluctant to take each other’s time, when there appear to be no urgent or significant things to talk about. The initial sense of purpose becomes dulled. Managed effectively, this...
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Read More “Relationship droop” – when a promising mentoring relationship falters
Scaling is a technique for helping someone quantify a goal and how they are working towards it. The basic question is always, “On a scale of 1 to 10, where do you think you are and where do you want to be?” This can apply to performance, a change in situation, or emotions. So a...
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The guru of self-coaching is Australian Anthony Grant, who suggests a 12-step approach to applying coaching methods to one’s own issues. Step 1 is to create an irritations inventory – things that you don’t enjoy, make your life uncomfortable, or that you’ve learned to tolerate but would rather do without. Classify them under headings such...
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Having a sense of purpose for the mentoring relationship is essential for focusing the conversations and for maintaining momentum. However, having a very specific goal at the beginning is not necessarily helpful – indeed, it can be harmful! The reasons for this are: Mentees and coachees often bring goals, which are imposed on them, rather (more…)
Read More Setting goals in mentoring: career, developmental, enabling and emotional goals
