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Managing expectations of other stakeholders in coaching and mentoring

While the core relationship in coaching and mentoring is the coach-coachee or mentor-mentee, other people have a stake or interest in it too. When a line manager coaches a member of his or her team, they have to take into account not only their own expectations of the direct report, but also what’s expected of...

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Managing the three-way contract

The three-way conversation between coach, client and the clients boss, is commonplace in coaching. Sometimes also involving HR, it provides a valuable opportunity to clarify agendas, establish the support needed from the boss, and improve the direct report-boss relationship. Yet in the context of mentoring, this conversation is typically seen as one to be avoided...

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Post-meeting reflection: mentee

Recommended good practice is for mentees to spend at least 30 minutes in quiet reflection after a mentoring conversation. It’s important to set this expectation both for the mentee and their boss! It’s helpful to use the following headings to structure this reflection: Issues Insights Ideas Intentions © David Clutterbuck, 2014...

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Post-meeting reflection: mentor

Recommended good practice is for mentors to spend at least 30 minutes in quiet reflection after a coaching conversation. It’s helpful to use the following headings to structure this reflection: Issues Insights Ideas Intentions © David Clutterbuck, 2014...

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Reviewing the mentoring relationship

It is good practice to review your mentoring relationship at regular intervals. This will ensure you keep a check on how the relationship itself is working and on what progress is being made on achieving the objectives you set at the outset (and how those objectives may have changed). Ideally, a first review would take...

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Accepting others for who they are

Accepting is the ability to allow things to be as they are, to abandon or put in abeyance the desire to change or confront. Accepting others for who they are is important within the context of coaching and mentoring: Mentors and mentees / coaches and coachees need to be able to accept each other; to...

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Accepting skills

Accepting is the ability to allow things to be as they are, to abandon or put in abeyance the desire to change or confront. It’s important in coaching and mentoring. Some situations are internally driven – for example, it can be hard to accept with age that you can’t be as active and sporty as...

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Acquire track record

Being noticed in a positive way is a vital part of career progress. There are five main ways in which mentors / coaches can help mentees / coachees do this: Track record comes only partly from doing your primary job well. Being noticed is much more closely related to the activities you undertake over and...

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Key skills: Listening skills

Listening to another person is one of the most powerful things you can do for another person. It shows others that you value and respect their contribution and are willing to give time to help them think. By listening actively you can help grow someone’s confidence and encourage him or her to talk. However, active...

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Advanced questioning skills

Advanced questioning skills Developmental mentoring / coaching is about helping someone with the quality of their thinking about issues important to them. Powerful questions are what prompt this kind of thinking. Observations of effective mentors / coaches reveal that they: How many questions? Ideally, the source of good questions should be the mentee / coachee (more…)