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How to manage “difficult” coachees/ mentees

Coaching and mentoring some people can be hard work, but it can be rewarding, because it provides a useful opportunity to expand your skills in developmental dialogue. Some of the most common situations that you might meet include: A three-stage process Our instinctive response is often to feel irritation at the other person’s unreasonableness. That’s...

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Key stages of maternity mentoring

Through research and our own experience as working parents, we have identified a number of distinct stages in the journey to working parenthood which are concerned with; Stage 1 – Early pregnancy What’s happening for the mentee The very early days of pregnancy are characterised by a spirit of simple pragmatism: ‘keep calm and carry...

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Learning from mistakes

Learning is at the heart of any coaching and mentoring relationship. We learn in different ways, through different methods and at different times. Once common factor amongst all individuals is that they all make mistakes and mistakes can be a valuable source of learning. If we accept that mistakes are a valuable source of learning,...

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Managing difficult conversations

The authors of the book Difficult Conversations point out that, when we feel constrained from saying exactly what we think, it is the gap between what we are really thinking and what we say that makes a difficult conversation difficult. In essence, we are trying to have two conversations at once. Each difficult conversation is...

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Managing disclosure

Personal disclosure is an important part of an open, trusting relationship. It allows us to build multiple points of connection, in terms of shared experiences, shared values and shared hopes and fears. Overused, it can have the opposite effect — as anyone will testify, if they find themselves on a train or plane sitting next...

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Managing moments of disconnect

Even the most experienced coaches and mentors encounter occasional moments of disconnect – points in the learning conversation when they begin to doubt their ability, are unsure how to move the dialogue forward, or feel that they simply aren’t helping the client as well as they might. When you do have such feelings, don’t feel...

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Managing procrastination

Procrastination is typically a repeating cycle with four stages: Coaches and mentors can help clients break this vicious cycle by firstly helping them to recognise it, then to develop strategies for addressing each stage. When people fail to break the cycle, it is often because they address only part of it – so the process...

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Managing stress

Stress, which affects most people at some point, can be positive or negative. Positive stress makes us alert, focuses our attention, is usually short-lived and can be enjoyable (for example, a fair-ground ride). Negative stress reduces our focus and creates high levels of sustained anxiety. It’s usually easy to recognise the signs of stress. These...

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Managing strong emotions in the coaching/mentoring dialogue

Strong emotions in a mentee or coachee (for example, anger or grief) can induce panic in the coach or mentor – and the instinct to get back to rational discourse. However, experienced coaches and mentors recognise that their role is to help the learner work through strong emotions. Core guidance in such situations includes: It’s...

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Maternity Mentoring or Coaching – which is best for your organisation?

Maternity Coaching   Maternity Mentoring Resource Usually paid, external coaches with professionally qualification Internal mentors — working parents within the business, who have been trained but may or may not be professionally qualified or accredited What do they typically offer? One-to-one coaching and group workshops designed to support employees (and in some instances the wider (more…)