Managing the three-way contract

The three-way conversation between coach, client and the clients boss, is commonplace in coaching. Sometimes also involving HR, it provides a valuable opportunity to clarify agendas, establish the support needed from the boss, and improve the direct report-boss relationship. Yet in the context of mentoring, this conversation is typically seen as one to be avoided...

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Post-meeting reflection: mentee

Recommended good practice is for mentees to spend at least 30 minutes in quiet reflection after a mentoring conversation. It’s important to set this expectation both for the mentee and their boss! It’s helpful to use the following headings to structure this reflection: Issues Insights Ideas Intentions © David Clutterbuck, 2014...

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Reviewing the mentoring relationship

It is good practice to review your mentoring relationship at regular intervals. This will ensure you keep a check on how the relationship itself is working and on what progress is being made on achieving the objectives you set at the outset (and how those objectives may have changed). Ideally, a first review would take...

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Accepting skills

Accepting is the ability to allow things to be as they are, to abandon or put in abeyance the desire to change or confront. It’s important in coaching and mentoring. Some situations are internally driven – for example, it can be hard to accept with age that you can’t be as active and sporty as...

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Acquire track record

Being noticed in a positive way is a vital part of career progress. There are five main ways in which mentors / coaches can help mentees / coachees do this: Track record comes only partly from doing your primary job well. Being noticed is much more closely related to the activities you undertake over and...

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Key skills: Listening skills

Listening to another person is one of the most powerful things you can do for another person. It shows others that you value and respect their contribution and are willing to give time to help them think. By listening actively you can help grow someone’s confidence and encourage him or her to talk. However, active...

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Anchoring

Anchoring Anchoring is a technique used to change adapt a stimulus response pattern so that the coachee or mentee is able to either, replace a negative anchor with a positive one; or to enhance a skills by building positive anchors. In other words, it is a simple way to change an unwanted feeling to a...

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Assessing commitments to goals

When people come to coaching and mentoring, they often do so with goals they have only part thought through. They may also come with goals imposed on them by others. Or they jump at a goal because they want to please the coach or mentor. In these circumstances, it’s important to review with them, just...

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Become more creative

Coaches and mentors need creativity skills for two main reasons. Firstly, they need to have effective ways to help the client overcome “stuckness” — to generate new thinking by proffering new ways of looking at problems and opportunities. Secondly, they need to be creative in their approach to the learning conversation, recognising when experimenting with...

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