What kind of learning alliance do you need?

What kind of learning alliance do you need? The decision tree below will help you think through the options for developmental support. Do you have a clearly defined developmental need? Yes, >>> Could your learning need be met through a training course ? Yes >>> Is there an appropriate course available in the timescale you...

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What to do if my coachee/ mentee suffers a traumatic loss

Losing a loved one, or being exposed to a traumatic experience (for example, a violent crime) can give rise to severe mental distress, which in turn can have significant physical symptoms. It’s a situation that requires expert support from a specialist counsellor or therapist, but as a coach or mentor, you can provide additional support,...

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When the client wants a solution too soon

When people have high anxiety about a problem, they often instinctively seek someone else to tell them what to do. In the face of internal confusion and uncertainty, we seek confident direction from an external source. This can be very beguiling for a coach or mentor, because we want to be helpful and useful. However,...

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What if the coachee or mentee is also receiving professional help from a counsellor or therapist

The instinctive reaction to this situation is for the coach or mentor to back off and suggest that the learner takes a break and comes back when they have dealt with the issues the have taken to counselling or therapy. While it’s important not to get in the way of the therapy or be seen...

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When the coachee/mentee loses hope

People lose hope when their attempts to bring about positive change result in repeated failure and/or a deep sense that they cannot control what happens to them. When a client of coaching or mentoring presents with an air of helplessness, they initially need an acknowledgement of the world as they perceive it. From this point,...

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What if the coachee says ‘I don’t know’

What if the coachee says ‘I don’t know’ There comes a point at least once in a coaching conversation, where the coach feels instinctively that the issue is clear enough to pose a powerful question – one that will really make the coachee think and open up new perspectives. Many times, that is exactly what...

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Positioning difference

Many mentoring programmes are designed specifically to support diversity objectives. However, in practice difference – in experience, personality, culture, gender and so on – is a driving force in all successful mentoring relationships. If people are too similar in background and experience, there is much less potential for learning between them. On the other hand,...

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Seven dialogues of coaching and mentoring

Being an effective mentor requires a continuously expanding portfolio of MDQs – (Massively Difficult Questions). These are what stimulate the mentee to reflect and gain personal insight. Equally important, however, are the MDQs we ask ourselves. For example: For whose benefit am I asking this question? Can I do more here by saying nothing? What...

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Stepping In, Stepping Out (SISO) Questions

The Stepping In, Stepping Out technique can be very powerful. Here’s some instructions and some sample questions. SISO is best used as an automatic response to “stuckness” in a client. The starting point is Which quadrant is the client caught in? Once you are clear where they are, join them in that quadrant, formulating questions...

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