People tell lies – mostly white ones – a lot of the time. It’s an instinctive social skill that helps build social cohesion and cooperation. But two kinds of lying can be particularly problematic. One is when the client is consciously or unconsciously lying to themselves, to avoid facing up to a difficult “truth” or...
Effective coaching and mentoring sessions frequently take the conversation into unexpected areas. Seeing things from a different perspective or reflecting on a question that challenges assumptions opens up issues that – usually more complex and deeper than the presented issue – that the learner needs to explore. If these new issues or topics arise towards...
Read More What to do if a coaching or mentoring session runs out of time
This is a practical and very simple way of helping someone, who is feeling overwhelmed. There are three parts to the process: © David Clutterbuck, 2016...
One of the myths of coaching and mentoring is that coaches don’t give advice, while mentors do. The reality is that there are many situations where both should and do give advice – for example, if the learner is at risk. However, effective developmental coaches and mentors are careful to choose the appropriate situations for (more…)
The notion that “It’s rude to interrupt” is instilled into most people from an early age. A coaches or mentors, who have been taught the importance of listening and letting the client do most of the talking, we may feel even stronger inhibitions against interrupting. However, there are some occasions when interruption is exactly what...
There are two types of noise or interference that prevent people achieving what they want. One we can call “fog” – not being able to see things clearly enough to work out what to do or where to go. The other is the “inner voice” that gets in the way of performance. The coaching pioneer...
The relationship between strengths and weaknesses is a complex one. Strengths can often become weaknesses, if we become over-reliant on them, reducing our portfolio of responses to situations or leading us to inappropriate responses. For example, humour can often defuse tension in some circumstances, but increase it in others. Equally, acknowledging weaknesses can be a...
Read More Working with strengths and weaknesses at a deeper level
The energy grid is a simple tool for helping managers and executives analyse where their time and, most importantly, their energy, goes. The two dimensions of the grid are: They may choose to complete the six permutations instinctively, or complete a log over a period of a week or so. Analysing this information stimulates discussion...
Achieving work-life balance is vital to individuals, teams and organisations. People feel more fulfilled and better able to perform in roles when they achieve a balance between work and non-work roles. Balancing roles and responsibilities is challenging, particularly in light of the changing nature of employment and the workplace. People face competing demands on time,...
Shame is a universal experience of mentally healthy people. Defined as “a feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour”, shame tends to have the negative impact that it inhibits learning. Whenever people feel shame, they tend to avoid discussing it with other people and they also try not (more…)