“Which is more important to you in building and maintaining your reputation – fitting in or standing out from the crowd?” It’s an unusual question for coaches and mentors to ask, but it can be very helpful in understanding what motivates a client towards or away from different choices. Human beings are typically motivated by (more…)
Since I first got ensnared by the world of coaching and mentoring, part of my learning has been to focus less on what is assumed and taken for granted and more on the question “What do we have evidence for and how valid is that evidence?” In the 1990s, I began to explore critically the (more…)
The five P model, created by Patti Stevens, provides a simple but effective framework for contracting between a coach and a supervisor – both at the start of a relationship and as an occasional check-in. The 5 Ps are: Purpose: Agreement on the nature and intent of coaching supervision in general and for this relationship...
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Textbooks on developmental coaching or mentoring tend to talk about the need to take a non-directive approach to helping clients. But being non-directive is a very general term for a range of influencing styles, from which the coach or mentor can choose. Recognising which style is most appropriate in different circumstances is an important skill....
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The value that coachees and mentees take from coaching and mentoring conversations depends to a significant extent on the quantity and quality of reflection they undertake. Yet many people lack the skills to reflect well. Whether busy executives or young people, who have a limited understanding of themselves and their world, the habit of reflection...
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Suggesting to someone else that they need counselling takes courage. As a coach or mentor, you will in most cases not be a qualified therapist – and even if you were, there are potential conflicts of role between mentoring/coaching and therapy. The two key questions here are: What to watch out for Signs that the...
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If a coaching or mentoring relationship is going to work well, both parties must trust each other enough to be able to speak openly. The coachee/mentee needs to feel that it is safe for them to share their internal thoughts and feelings, and also that the coach/mentor is there to support and encourage them as (more…)
There comes a point, at least once in a coaching conversation, where the coach feels instinctively that the issue is clear enough to pose a powerful question – one that will really make the coachee think and open up new perspectives. Many times, that is exactly what happens. But occasionally, the coachee simply responds with, (more…)
While a coach or mentor may be familiar with terms such as depression, bi-polar disease, personality disorder, psychopathy, burnout and so on, only those with specialized training are able to diagnose mental health issues and, if appropriate, help the client manage them. To play “amateur psychologist” is unethical and dangerous. This entry addresses two key...
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Coaching isn’t always a comfortable experience. When it achieves most, it often involves an uncomfortable journey into ourselves and our motivations. According to research by Dr Paul Stokes at Sheffield Hallam University, coachees can be skilled at engaging with the coaching conversation – or at avoiding difficult issues. Engaging processes include scenario planning, remaining open (more…)