It’s very easy for people to confuse being a high achiever with being a perfectionist – after all, both are trying to do the best job they can. The main difference is that perfectionists’ obsession with doing things right means that they achieve less and have a tendency to micromanage. Micromanagement can lead to ineffectiveness...
Survivor syndrome occurs when people retain their jobs during “downsizing”, while colleagues lose theirs. Survivors feel a certain amount of relief, but at the same time they feel some guilt about the fate of their colleagues. It can take many months for people to recover fully and, where they are exposed to survivor syndrome frequently,...
Fear of success is a common derailer for talented people in all walks of life. First described and researched in the 1970s, it was thought to be mostly an issue for women, but actually affects both genders. Its causes can be psychologically complex (for example, the unconscious association of the excitement of new opportunities with (more…)
Read More Helping the coachee or mentee overcome fear of success
For behaviour change to take root, it usually needs to be embedded in self-awareness. Understanding our motivations and inner drives allows us to link what we want to achieve to what we value; the roles we want to grow into to the person we aim to be. Psychometric instruments can be very helpful in stimulating...
The research on mentoring, in particular, shows that one of the most powerful things a coach or mentor can bring to the relationship is belief in the client’s ability to achieve great things. The phenomenon is called the Pygmalion effect, after the play by George Bernard Shaw. Essentially, the more belief someone, who you respect,...
Leary’s rose is a simple tool for helping clients understand the dynamics of relationships. The rose is built around two dimensions: Dominance v Submission, and Hostility v Togetherness. Our responses to other people’s stances are either symmetrical (hostility provokes hostility; togetherness stimulates togetherness); or complementary (dominance provokes submission, submission provokes dominance). In a work environment,...
One of the most common problems that holds talented people back is their tendency to micromanage. Usually driven by insecurity, micromanagement is bad news for the individual and for their team. For the individual, it means that they never have enough time to do things that are important not urgent, nor to focus on longer-term (more…)
Read More How coaches and mentors can help people who micromanage
In theory, the boss should be delighted that someone else is sharing the responsibility for helping one of their direct reports to manage their career self-management and personal development. In practice, they may have reservations about how much time away from the job will be involved, what mentor and mentee will say about him or...
Read More How mentees can manage their boss’ expectations of the mentoring relationship
It often happens that people bring goals to coaching and mentoring, which they feel obliged to accept. Because these goals are externally generated (for example, from the expectations of their line manager, or their spouse), their commitment is likely to be much lower than if the goal were generated internally, meeting their own needs. So...
One of the recognised dangers of executive coaching / mentoring, however it is sourced, is that the coachee / mentee can come to depend on the coach / mentor to do their thinking for them, rather than develop the skills and habits of thinking for themselves. Dependency can take many forms, including intellectual (solving problems...
Read More How to avoid creating dependence in a learning relationship