Coaching and mentoring conversations frequently deal with issues of work relationships – colleagues or bosses, who are difficult, unresponsive, incompetent, and so on. It’s easy to slip into the role of Agony Aunt, giving advice on how to make friends and influence people, but that’s not the best way to help the client. Much more...
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Whether you are presenting at a meeting or simply attending as a participant, being effective requires the development of core skills. For giving presentations, there is a wealth of advice and training that covers issues such as using Powerpoint slides, engaging with the audience and so on. Sometimes, it can be helpful to be observed (more…)
Positive assertiveness is an elusive attribute. Stereotypical thinking often means that behaviours, which can be seen in males as assertive, may be seen as aggressive in females. The “right” place on the spectrum from unassertive through assertive to aggressive can vary substantially from context to context. Coaches and mentors can help learners think through how...
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People vary widely how motivated they are to learn and progress. Given that you have limited time and energy to invest in developmental conversations, it helps to have a sense of who is going to be most responsive and to prioritise these individuals. It’s important, of course, to recognise that your own biases may affect...
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When we fail to live up to our potential, one of the most common causes is that our negative internal chatter gets in the way. “I’m going to screw this up”; “I’m not clever enough to do this”; “I don’t deserve to win” and so on. This chatter can be very pervasive and persuasive –...
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It’s very easy for people to confuse being a high achiever with being a perfectionist – after all, both are trying to do the best job they can. The main difference is that perfectionists’ obsession with doing things right means that they achieve less and have a tendency to micromanage. Micromanagement can lead to ineffectiveness...
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Survivor syndrome occurs when people retain their jobs during “downsizing”, while colleagues lose theirs. Survivors feel a certain amount of relief, but at the same time they feel some guilt about the fate of their colleagues. It can take many months for people to recover fully and, where they are exposed to survivor syndrome frequently,...
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Fear of success is a common derailer for talented people in all walks of life. First described and researched in the 1970s, it was thought to be mostly an issue for women, but actually affects both genders. Its causes can be psychologically complex (for example, the unconscious association of the excitement of new opportunities with (more…)
For behaviour change to take root, it usually needs to be embedded in self-awareness. Understanding our motivations and inner drives allows us to link what we want to achieve to what we value; the roles we want to grow into to the person we aim to be. Psychometric instruments can be very helpful in stimulating...
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The research on mentoring, in particular, shows that one of the most powerful things a coach or mentor can bring to the relationship is belief in the client’s ability to achieve great things. The phenomenon is called the Pygmalion effect, after the play by George Bernard Shaw. Essentially, the more belief someone, who you respect,...
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