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How to find a mentor

Because mentoring is a learning relationship, it’s important to find the right mentor for your needs, at the right time. The following questions will help you make a good choice. What do I want a mentor for? People want mentors for a variety of reasons. The most common are: A potential mentor will expect you...

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The LAZY model of coaching

The acronym of this model , developed in Hungary by Judit Abri von Bartheld, stands for: Listening. Active listening leads to a high level of presence and intuitive questioning. According to Dave Ulrich: “Listening is not that I understand but that the other person feels understood.” Awareness and Ambiguity. Suspending judgement, allowing alternative scenarios and...

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FKT isn’t mentoring

In recent months, there has been a spate of articles and webinars extolling the virtues of “speed mentoring”, “flash mentoring” or similar means of fast knowledge transfer (FKT). We have also seen the rise of “Mentoring Lite” from major dot-com providers, providing rapid matching between people with a problem and an expert. In an era...

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When should a coach or mentor say STOP THAT!

Although mentors and coaches aim to be non-directive – listening and questioning, not telling – there are times, when a more direct, directive intervention may be needed. For example: Normally, we can make them aware of what they are doing by asking them to pause a moment and then using questions, such as: If that...

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Triple loop learning – helping the coachee think more deeply

Triple loop learning – helping the coachee think more deeply Finding time to think is a luxury for many people – and the more senior they are, the more essential it is for their performance. The problem is that we are so used to shallow, instinctive thinking that we have to work at thinking more (more…)

Finding the levers for gender equality

A while ago, I asked a Government department what data it had on the gender and ethnic distribution at different levels and in different functions. Not surprisingly, it had a lot, at considerable depth of detail. Then I asked the critical question: “Can you give me a single example, where this data has resulted in (more…)

ABCDE method

This coaching framework comes from Cognitive-Based Therapy. Developed by psychologist Albert Ellis, it helps the client understand how they approach a situation and develop new and more functional patterns of thinking, by reinforcing positive patterns of thinking and behaviour and by inhibiting negative patterns. There are five stages: Ellis, A., 1989. Inside Rational Emotive Therapy: (more…)

Being present as a coach or mentor

Textbooks on coaching, in particular, talk about “presence” as a key characteristic of effective developmental conversations. Normally, when people talk of presence, they mean the way some people naturally command attention and respect – hence presence, in this interpretation, is a leadership competence. In coaching and mentoring, however, presence has a different meaning. It refers (more…)

Coaching and mentoring people on the autistic spectrum

Autism is often misunderstood, and while severe cases can be disabling, it’s inaccurate to view everyone on the autistic spectrum as disadvantaged. In fact, high-functioning autistic individuals often possess significant advantages. These can include: However, these abilities can sometimes come with challenges such as: Unlike neurotypical individuals whose brains filter out much of the surrounding (more…)

Helping the coachee or mentee overcome imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome affects 70% of adults at some point in their careers. Originaly associated mostly with women in senior positions, when it was identified in the late 1970s,in reality it affects both genders. A formal definition is that is “a colection of feelings of inadequacy that persist even in face of information that indicates that (more…)