Practising mentors building their practice
What if the coachee says ‘I don’t know’ There comes a point at least once in a coaching conversation, where the coach feels instinctively that the issue is clear enough to pose a powerful question – one that will really make the coachee think and open up new perspectives. Many times, that is exactly what...
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Many mentoring programmes are designed specifically to support diversity objectives. However, in practice difference – in experience, personality, culture, gender and so on – is a driving force in all successful mentoring relationships. If people are too similar in background and experience, there is much less potential for learning between them. On the other hand,...
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Ethical mentoring – where the focus of the learning dialogue is either helping the mentee think through a specific conflict of values or develop greater “ethical resilience” – is demanding of both mentor and mentee. It requires high levels of self-honesty, courage and willingness to explore issues from other perspectives. Questions from mentor to mentee...
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© David Clutterbuck, 2016...
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A common occurrence in coaching and mentoring is that, after the first flush of enthusiasm, the relationship begins to run out of steam. Both parties are reluctant to take each other’s time, when there appear to be no urgent or significant things to talk about. The initial sense of purpose becomes dulled. Managed effectively, this...
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Read More “Relationship droop” – when a promising mentoring relationship falters
Scaling is a technique for helping someone quantify a goal and how they are working towards it. The basic question is always, “On a scale of 1 to 10, where do you think you are and where do you want to be?” This can apply to performance, a change in situation, or emotions. So a...
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The guru of self-coaching is Australian Anthony Grant, who suggests a 12-step approach to applying coaching methods to one’s own issues. Step 1 is to create an irritations inventory – things that you don’t enjoy, make your life uncomfortable, or that you’ve learned to tolerate but would rather do without. Classify them under headings such...
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Having a sense of purpose for the mentoring relationship is essential for focusing the conversations and for maintaining momentum. However, having a very specific goal at the beginning is not necessarily helpful – indeed, it can be harmful! The reasons for this are: Mentees and coachees often bring goals, which are imposed on them, rather (more…)
Read More Setting goals in mentoring: career, developmental, enabling and emotional goals
Being an effective mentor requires a continuously expanding portfolio of MDQs – (Massively Difficult Questions). These are what stimulate the mentee to reflect and gain personal insight. Equally important, however, are the MDQs we ask ourselves. For example: For whose benefit am I asking this question? Can I do more here by saying nothing? What...
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The Stepping In, Stepping Out technique can be very powerful. Here’s some instructions and some sample questions. SISO is best used as an automatic response to “stuckness” in a client. The starting point is Which quadrant is the client caught in? Once you are clear where they are, join them in that quadrant, formulating questions...
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