Practising mentors building their practice
Since I first got ensnared by the world of coaching and mentoring, part of my learning has been to focus less on what is assumed and taken for granted and more on the question “What do we have evidence for and how valid is that evidence?” In the 1990s, I began to explore critically the...
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Recent research at the University of North Carolina and elsewhere, into how we perceive emotions reveals that having a name for an emotion is important in both how we experience it and how we cope with it. Academic Tiffany watt Smith at Queen Mary University in London explains that “putting a name to a feeling...
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When a coachee or mentee reveals that they have a serious illness, such as cancer or clinical depression, it can be hard to know how best to react. You want to be sympathetic, supportive and helpful, but you know that your role doesn’t encompass helping them manage their illness. Coaches and mentors in this situation...
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Read More What to do if my coachee/ mentee develops a serious illness
A common situation brought to coaching is that the client feels powerless to achieve change, because they believe that the problem is someone else. For example: “My manager micromanages and won’t let me get on with my work.” “My colleague is untrustworthy.” “She is impossible to work with.” The problem for the coach is firstly...
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Coaching textbooks are full of advice for coaches to develop their skills of empathy. It might seem to make common sense, but this advice doesn’t seem to be based on any credible evidence. In fact, the contrary may be true — empathy may be a dangerous and unhealthy addiction for the coach and an unhelpful...
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A vast amount has been written about the competencies of coaches and mentors, and even more about the qualities of great leaders. Much of this is contradictory and dependent on circumstance or context. Research into the desirable traits of both coaches and leaders, for example, shows significant differences of expectations and perspective arising from cultural (more…)
Read More The core traits of truly effective coaches, mentors and leaders
While anger is usually seen as an unhelpful emotion, it doesn’t have to be so. Managed anger can be a force for good, and has been a significant factor in every peaceful social change, from the abolition of slavery to equal opportunities at work and in society. While someone, who seems to be angry about...
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An implicit assumption within coaching and mentoring is that the coachee or mentee is motivated to change. That isn’t always the case and even when it is, there is a big difference between externally motivated change (doing something because you have to) and internally motivated change (doing something because you want to). Internally or intrinsically...
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One of the common and dangerous misunderstandings of managers in organisations is called correspondence bias. We tend to assuming that someone else’s behaviour (positive or negative) can be attributed to fixed personality traits (for example, the need to control, or risk aversion), while explaining our own bad behaviour as a reaction to circumstances. Gilbert identifies...
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A model developed by Ken Blanchard and presented in his book Trust Works provides a simple framework for understanding, communicating, developing and assessing trust. It identifies four areas: Able = demonstrating capability Believable = showing integrity, honesty, respect and sincerity Connected = caring for other people, listening to them, being empathetic Dependable = being reliable; (more…)
