People being mentored
Coaching and mentoring conversations frequently deal with issues of work relationships – colleagues or bosses, who are difficult, unresponsive, incompetent, and so on. It’s easy to slip into the role of Agony Aunt, giving advice on how to make friends and influence people, but that’s not the best way to help the client. Much more...
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Whether you are presenting at a meeting or simply attending as a participant, being effective requires the development of core skills. For giving presentations, there is a wealth of advice and training that covers issues such as using Powerpoint slides, engaging with the audience and so on. Sometimes, it can be helpful to be observed (more…)
Read More Helping the coachee / mentee improve their contribution in meetings
Positive assertiveness is an elusive attribute. Stereotypical thinking often means that behaviours, which can be seen in males as assertive, may be seen as aggressive in females. The “right” place on the spectrum from unassertive through assertive to aggressive can vary substantially from context to context. Coaches and mentors can help learners think through how...
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People vary widely how motivated they are to learn and progress. Given that you have limited time and energy to invest in developmental conversations, it helps to have a sense of who is going to be most responsive and to prioritise these individuals. It’s important, of course, to recognise that your own biases may affect...
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When we fail to live up to our potential, one of the most common causes is that our negative internal chatter gets in the way. “I’m going to screw this up”; “I’m not clever enough to do this”; “I don’t deserve to win” and so on. This chatter can be very pervasive and persuasive –...
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Read More Helping the coachee or mentee overcome negative self-talk
Fear of success is a common derailer for talented people in all walks of life. First described and researched in the 1970s, it was thought to be mostly an issue for women, but actually affects both genders. Its causes can be psychologically complex (for example, the unconscious association of the excitement of new opportunities with (more…)
Read More Helping the coachee or mentee overcome fear of success
The research on mentoring, in particular, shows that one of the most powerful things a coach or mentor can bring to the relationship is belief in the client’s ability to achieve great things. The phenomenon is called the Pygmalion effect, after the play by George Bernard Shaw. Essentially, the more belief someone, who you respect,...
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In theory, the boss should be delighted that someone else is sharing the responsibility for helping one of their direct reports to manage their career self-management and personal development. In practice, they may have reservations about how much time away from the job will be involved, what mentor and mentee will say about him or...
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Read More How mentees can manage their boss’ expectations of the mentoring relationship
These three concepts from psychotherapy and counselling are useful for the coach or mentor to have at the back of their mind, particularly when addressing behavioural or motivational issues. Transference happens when we unconsciously and irrationally attribute attitudes, motivations or other characteristics to someone else, because we create an association between them and someone in...
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Read More How not to get caught up in the coachee’s hang-ups: Transference and countertransference
If you are not able to join a mentoring programme in your own organisation or profession, you can still find a mentor informally. The starting point is to think through what you want a mentor for. Once you are clear about this, you can move on to thinking about what sort of person would make...
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