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Helping your coachee or mentee become more authentic

Authenticity is one of those irritatingly vague qualities expected of modern leaders – generally seen as desirable but difficult to define or demonstrate. Worse, because it is supposed to be a natural quality, the idea of developing authenticity seems artificial and manipulative. Dictionary definitions tend to describe authenticity as the quality or condition of being...

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Helping the coachee or mentee manage a controlling boss

Of all the conflict situations between managers and their direct reports, the controlling boss is arguably the most common and one of the most difficult to deal with. People, who are creative and independent, are often either crushed by their boss or quit. This is also one of the most common situations that people bring...

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Values triangle

Values elicitation triangle This technique helps people work pout their core values. It comes from Julie Hay, an expert in both mentoring and transactional analysis. The instructions are: 1. Choose three key values and place one at each side of a triangle. 2. What is the connecting value between each of these? 3. What is...

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Dilts’ identity matrix

This simple tool provides a structure for thinking about goals and intentions, from the perspective of current and desired identity. The key questions that arise from the matrix below are: • What do I want to be but will never be? (Limitation) • What don’t I want to be and will never be? (Boundary) •...

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Reflecting on the coaching or mentoring session

Reflecting on the coaching or mentoring session A characteristic of effective coaches and mentors is their willingness to take time after a session to reflect on what they can learn from it. The reflective process helps them to: Among the advantages: A useful checklist of what to reflect on includes: © David Clutterbuck. All rights reserved

Positioning difference in coaching and mentoring

Positioning difference Many mentoring programmes are designed specifically to support diversity objectives. However, in practice difference – in experience, personality, culture, gender and so on – is a driving force in all successful mentoring relationships. If people are too similar in background and experience, there is much less potential for learning between them. On the...

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Mentoring relationship pitfalls

Mentoring relationship pitfalls There are a range of issues that can potentially impact on the success of your relationship. The majority of these are avoidable through good relationship set up and by ensuring you have open and honest conversations from the start. It is good to be aware of these so that you are able...

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Managing the political realities

Most people baulk at the idea of being “political”, yet being politically aware is a critical skill in career management. Coaches and mentors need to be able to use their own political awareness to help the learner make astute decisions and judgements; and to help the learner develop both political awareness and the ability to (more…)

How empathetic do you need to be as a coach or mentor?

Coaching textbooks are full of advice for coaches to develop their skills of empathy. It might seem to make common sense, but this advice doesn’t seem to based on any credible evidence. In fact, the contrary may be true — empathy may be a dangerous and unhealthy addiction for the coach and an unhelpful distraction...

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Contracting in mentoring

Using a professional mentor creates a different dynamic to the developmental relationship. A contract is essential for several reasons: What should the contract specify? Essential elements include: 1. Purpose of the assignment 2. Expected outcomes and how these will be measured 3. Frequency, duration and location of meetings 4. Amount of ad hoc (eg telephone...

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