Positioning difference

Many mentoring programmes are designed specifically to support diversity objectives. However, in practice difference – in experience, personality, culture, gender and so on – is a driving force in all successful mentoring relationships. If people are too similar in background and experience, there is much less potential for learning between them. On the other hand,...

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Powerful questions for ethical mentors

Ethical mentoring – where the focus of the learning dialogue is either helping the mentee think through a specific conflict of values or develop greater “ethical resilience” – is demanding of both mentor and mentee. It requires high levels of self-honesty, courage and willingness to explore issues from other perspectives. Questions from mentor to mentee...

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“Relationship droop” – when a promising mentoring relationship falters

A common occurrence in coaching and mentoring is that, after the first flush of enthusiasm, the relationship begins to run out of steam. Both parties are reluctant to take each other’s time, when there appear to be no urgent or significant things to talk about. The initial sense of purpose becomes dulled. Managed effectively, this...

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Setting goals in mentoring: career, developmental, enabling and emotional goals

Having a sense of purpose for the mentoring relationship is essential for focusing the conversations and for maintaining momentum. However, having a very specific goal at the beginning is not necessarily helpful – indeed, it can be harmful! The reasons for this are: Mentees and coachees often bring goals, which are imposed on them, rather (more…)

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Seven dialogues of coaching and mentoring

Being an effective mentor requires a continuously expanding portfolio of MDQs – (Massively Difficult Questions). These are what stimulate the mentee to reflect and gain personal insight. Equally important, however, are the MDQs we ask ourselves. For example: For whose benefit am I asking this question? Can I do more here by saying nothing? What...

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Sponsoring

Sponsoring in an interesting term; research suggests that in the workplace sponsors are as important, if not more so, than mentors. Sponsorship mentor owes its origins to practice in US companies in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Mentoring was then described as “overseeing the career of a young man”. Researcher Kathy Kram, now a...

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Stepping In, Stepping Out (SISO) Questions

The Stepping In, Stepping Out technique can be very powerful. Here’s some instructions and some sample questions. SISO is best used as an automatic response to “stuckness” in a client. The starting point is Which quadrant is the client caught in? Once you are clear where they are, join them in that quadrant, formulating questions...

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Making difficult choices

Many of the issues people bring to their coaches and mentors relate to difficult choices. The two most common reason choices may be difficult are that: Here are several simple methods of helping them work out what information they need and how to obtain it. Issues mapping Ask them to describe all of the factors...

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